A Little Chat With Husbands Part 3



Has Satan got you by the balls?

Warning: This article contains graphic language and is intended only for those 18 years of age or older


Pornography Statistics


Pornography is everywhere these days and it is strangling the life out of most Christian men in most Christian churches.  Every man uses or has used pornography; there are no exceptions.  This is every man’s battle and any man that says he has never been tempted and yielded to porn is a liar.  Pretty straight to the point, now isn’t it?


If you clicked onto this link you are likely to be one of the following individuals:


1.      A Christian man (or any man) addicted to pornography.

2.      A Christian woman (or any woman) addicted to pornography.

3.      The wife, fiancé or girlfriend of a man addicted to porn whose life has been destroyed by the effects of this sin.

4.      A Christian man that is like all other Christian men and has been tempted with porn recently, in the past, or knows someone that needs help.


Pornography affects all of our lives negatively every day; our children are not safe because of porn’s effect on the psyche of porn addicts using kiddy porn. In 2003 more than $12.0 billion of US revenue was spent on pornography; this is more than all of the combined income of all professional football, baseball and basketball franchises.  The next time you watch your favorite NFL football team and see thousands of cheering fans consider that more money is spent on pornography in that town or city than these fans spent on tickets, beer, hotdogs, souvenirs, popcorn, posters, etc.   The $12 billion spent on porn each year is more than the combined revenues of ABC, CBS, and NBC (6.2 billion).


How do I know you’re looking at porn or have looked at porn on one of likely more occasions?  First, you’re reading this article online aren’t you?  Approximately $2.5 of the $12 billion spent on porn each year is related to the Internet.  Worldwide in 2003 $57.0 billion was spent on porn.  Porn online is pandemic and 25% of total search engine requests are porn-related.   Statistically the top three searches online are in order: sex, mp3 and hotmail and 8% of total emails are porn-related.  The daily average of pornographic email amounts to about 4.5 per Internet user and 12% of total websites are pornographic.


Internet filter programs have helped deter unwanted solicitation of porn online and help prevent children or adult porn addicts from accessing porn.  Just the same, pornography is BIG business and its evil producers are always looking for ways to break porn filter codes.  It is impossible to use the Internet regularly without viewing pornography; 20% of men admit accessing pornography at work; 13% of women admit accessing pornography at work.


If you think you can hide behind the religious façade of, “I’m a born-again Christian,” think again pal.  In one survey of men involved with the worldwide Christian men’s organization known as Promise Keepers, 53% of these men admitted viewing pornography the previous week!  Keep in mind this survey provided statistics for men that actually admitted viewing porn.  Considering surveys like this only bring out the most honest, what percentage of the remaining 47% do you think failed to admit their problem for fear of being unmasked?  The fact is 10% of adults admit having Internet sexual addiction.  An estimated 72 million people worldwide will visit Internet porn sites this year; 1,000 brand new Internet porn sites are created every single day.  In 2004 it is estimated 1 out of 5 young Internet users received an unwanted sexual solicitation.


An estimated 90% of 8-16 year olds have viewed porn online, most while doing homework.  The average age of first Internet exposure to pornography is 11 years old and 100,000 websites offer illegal child pornography and child pornography generates $3 billion annually.   Among children users adolescents between 12-17 years of age are the largest consumers of Internet porn. 

Has Satan got you by the balls?


My objective for writing this article is not to provide tools for detoxing your life from the sexual addiction associated with pornography.  There are literally hundreds of web sites and organizations devoted to helping you stop porn.  If you are addicted to pornography or have any other addiction, please seek professional medical help.

I’m not here to tell you God will make a way for you to stop masturbating in front of your computer monitor.  I’m not here to embarrass you for sneaking outside or wherever you hide your porn CD’s, videos and other smut.  This is just a little chat for husbands addicted to pornography.


The word pornography is derived from a Greek word pornographos and means, “writing about prostitutes.” pornography is a compound of porneia, which means literally, “prostitute,” and, grápho, meaning, “to engrave or write.” Ultimately our English word pornography comes from an Indo-European word denoting, “to sell.”  The true meaning of pornography is therefore, “the sale of prostitutes.”  Whenever you purchase and use porn you are buying a prostitute and you are financing the abuse of women, men, and worst of all, you are paying for the devil’s disciples to kidnap, lure and rape children.  Do you know what Jesus said about abusing women and children?


·          Mark 9:42 Jesus said, "And if anyone causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a large millstone tied around his neck.” (NIV)


You may be thinking I’m too harsh and I just don’t understand how powerful the temptation is; nothing is further from the truth my brother.  The fact is I DO know what tremendous powers the devil uses to lure men into sexual sin.  I won’t lie and act sanctimonious; like all men in our society I have used pornography before and sinned in the sight of God Almighty and His beloved son Jesus Christ.  I’m not at all ignorant of the controlling influences involved in porn and I also know there are real chemical changes that occur in the male endocrine system making the addiction harder to resist.  But none of this will matter on the day you stand in final judgment and give an account of your self-serving life.  STOP AND THINK!  Do you really want to go to hell?


What are you doing?  You are playing with Russian roulette with your eternal soul for a few seconds of penis pleasure.  You are destroying your marriage, your children, your relationships, your career, and spitting on the face of Jesus as he hangs upon the cross pleading for your life.  You are flushing eternal life down into the toilet bowl of Hades just so your hand can masturbate while you watch images of prostitutes.  If you’re into kiddy-porn you are the financial support for child-rapist-abusers to continue their criminal career.  Jesus said, “If your hand causes you to sin, cut it off. It is better for you to enter life maimed than with two hands to go into hell, where the fire never goes out! And if your eye causes you to sin, pluck it out.  It is better for you to enter the kingdom of God with one eye than to have two eyes and be thrown into hell, where, 'their worm does not die, and the fire is not quenched.” (Mark 9:43-50)


If you indulge in kiddy porn, you are paying for a child to be raped.  Shame on you bro; I know nothing I say will make any difference unless you choose to stop it.  Only God knows your heart and whether you are truly making an effort, but as one who teaches the word of God to others, I must warn you about this pernicious evil before you die.


Every man’s life and works with be salted with fire, but if you are thrown into hell your fire will never be quenched.  This behavior and bad choice will guarantee you a place in the lake of fire.  When the Book of Life is opened and the dead are judged, you will be sentenced by what you have done and by your whole way of feeling and acting, including your aims and endeavors. I’m not just picking on those whose sensual impulses are under the satanic control of pornography because every human being will be tried and their cases determined by what they have done, according to their motives, aims, and works.  Those whose lives are characterized by sin and death will continue their existence beyond the grave in Hades, and when the final judgment comes, they will be thrown into the lake of fire. This is the second death, the lake of fire. And if anyone's name is not found recorded in the Book of Life, he or she will be hurled into the lake of fire. (Revelation 20:10-15)  The lake of fire or the Book of Life; which one will you choose my brother?  There are only two choices and you must decide which one you want. 


Don’t think your wife is fooled whenever you go into another room and lock the door and masturbate.  Even if she never catches you in the act, she knows because your heart is no longer connected to hers.  She can sense the lack of intimacy because God has given her female instincts to warn her when something isn’t right.  The more you use porn the less resistance you have to its lure and if you continue this behavior your very soul and spirit will perish and you will live forever in a place where people wail, scream and gnash their teeth.


·          Matthew 13:24-30 Jesus told them another parable: "The kingdom of heaven is like a man who sowed good seed in his field.  But while everyone was sleeping, his enemy came and sowed weeds among the wheat, and went away.  When the wheat sprouted and formed heads, then the weeds also appeared.  The owner's servants came to him and said, 'Sir, didn't you sow good seed in your field?  Where then did the weeds come from?'  'An enemy did this,' he replied. "The servants asked him, 'Do you want us to go and pull them up?'  'No,' he answered, 'because while you are pulling the weeds, you may root up the wheat with them.  Let both grow together until the harvest.  At that time I will tell the harvesters: First collect the weeds and tie them in bundles to be burned; then gather the wheat and bring it into my barn.'"  (NIV)


Don’t fool yourself by going to church and participating in ministries; going to men’s accountability groups means nothing if you allow the weeds of porn continue growing along with the word of God your hear preached every Sunday.  There is a day of reckoning coming for you and it will not tarry.  Stop the porn and humble yourself.  Admit you have an addiction and confess your faults to your brethren. 


Ask God to do ANYTHING necessary to stop this insidious evil from taking your soul into eternal damnation.


·          Matthew 13:37-43 Jesus answered, "The one who sowed the good seed is the Son of Man.  The field is the world, and the good seed stands for the sons of the kingdom.  The weeds are the sons of the evil one, and the enemy who sows them is the devil. The harvest is the end of the age, and the harvesters are angels.  As the weeds are pulled up and burned in the fire, so it will be at the end of the age.  The Son of Man will send out his angels, and they will weed out of his kingdom everything that causes sin and all who do evil.  They will throw them into the fiery furnace, where there will be weeping and gnashing of teeth. Then the righteous will shine like the sun in the kingdom of their Father.  He who has ears let him hear!” (NIV)


Do you still have ears to hear?  I believe you do or else you would not have visited this web site and chosen this article to read.  Start with repentance my brother; good old fashioned repentance and confess to God the EXACT nature of your sin.  Tell Him what He already knows because He wants to hear it from your own lips and heart.  Ask Him to help you confess your addiction to porn with other men of God.  Even if their response is not what you wanted or expected, you must start doing this now.  Don’t delay.  What if this is your last day on earth; are you prepared to meet your Judge?

Mention of Porn in Scripture


When Jesus commanded his disciples to “cut off” their right hand or “pluck out” their right eye, he was not speaking literally.  Throughout history there are isolated cases where some mental patient went bonkers and actually chopped off his hand or plucked his eyeball out of the socket; this is NOT what Christ means.  In eastern culture the “right” is symbolic for what is under your control or authority.


Therefore to “cut off” your right hand is a metaphor applicable to the behavior you CHOOSE.  Using porn is ALWAYS a choice and you can cut it off from your life, but in order to do so you must make major lifestyle changes.  The Greek words rendered, “cut it off” in Mark 9:43 is apókopson; it means literally, “chop off away from.”  The word implies more than cutting something off by including the preposition apo, which means away from.  Cut of the porn and get away from it and get it away from you!


The ONLY way you will ever conquer an addiction to pornography is if you CUT OFF THE SOURCE AND SUPPLY.  This means no more use of the computer online unless under continual observation by your wife.  No more using the computer in isolation in another room where you can “get away with it.”  Even if you have to stop using your PC or the Internet altogether you MUST take action.

Unless you create an environment that gives back control to you it is probable you will fail time and time again.  Just like an alcoholic cannot be in an environment where beer, wine or liquor is used or served, such as a bar, so too, you cannot be in an environment that allows you access to porn.  Even if you have to get rid of your computer or television set (or both) altogether, if that’s what is needed to stop this addiction to porn, it is better to “cut it off” than to go to hell and perish forever.


In the New Testament the Greek word porneúœ for pornography occurs many times and is usually translated as fornicators. The Strong’s reference is NT: 4203 for porneúœ, which is derived from another Greek word pórnos (NT: 4205), and defined as a male prostitute, to commit fornication, or to play the harlot.  This word pórnos is from the Hebrew symbolism for idolatry, the relationship existing between God and His Church (being exemplified by the emblem of the conjugal union) which is broken by those who worship idols (Revelation 2:14,20 and Revelation 17:2; 18:3,9.  Another Greek word derived from pórnos is ekporneúœ (NT: 1608), which means to practice fornication and implies excessive indulgence.  Also another word porneía (NT: 4202), means fornication or lewdness. (From The Complete Word Study Bible and The Complete Word Study Dictionary: New Testament Copyright © 1991, 1992, 1994, 2002 AMG International, Inc.)


It should be enough to make you stop that God actually mentions porn by name.  However, since you are given to impulsive choices, below are some key verses that actually mention porn; the highlighted words represent how the translators interpreted each use.  As you will see, God considers this sin as one of the most serious of sins because it is considered sin against one’s own body, as well as being labeled as idolatry.


·          1 Corinthians 6:18 Shun immorality and all sexual looseness (porneúœ); flee from impurity in thought, word, or deed.  Any other sin, which a man commits, is one outside the body, but he who commits sexual immorality (porneúoon) sins against his own body. AMP


·          1 Corinthians 10:8 Nor let us act immorally (porneúoomen), as some of them acted immorally (epórneusan), and twenty-three thousand fell in one day. NASU


·          Revelation 2:14 Nevertheless, I have a few things against you: you have some people there who are clinging to the teaching of Balaam, who taught Balak to set a trap and a stumbling block before the sons of Israel, to entice them to eat food that had been sacrificed to idols and to practice lewdness, giving themselves up to sexual vice (porneúsai).”   AMP



·          1 Corinthians 5:9-11 I wrote you in my previous letter not to associate closely and habitually with unchaste, impure (pórnois) people--10 Not meaning of course that you must altogether shun the immoral (pórnois) people of this world, or the greedy graspers and cheats and thieves or idolaters, since otherwise you would need to get out of the world and human society altogether!  11 But now I write to you not to associate with anyone who bears the name of Christian brother if he is known to be guilty of immorality (pórnos) or greed, or is an idolater, whose soul is devoted to any object that usurps the place of God, or is a person with a foul tongue railing, abusing, reviling, slandering, or is a drunkard or a swindler or a robber. No you must not so much as eat with such a person.    AMP


·          1 Corinthians 6:9-11 Do you not know that the unrighteous and the wrongdoers will not inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God? Do not be deceived (misled): neither the impure and immoral (pórnoi), nor idolaters, nor adulterers, nor those who participate in homosexuality, 10 nor cheats, swindlers and thieves, nor greedy graspers, nor drunkards, nor foulmouthed revilers and slanderers, nor extortioners and robbers will inherit or have any share in the kingdom of God.  11 And such some of you were once. But you were washed clean, purified by a complete atonement for sin and made free from the guilt of sin, and you were consecrated, set apart, hallowed, and you were justified, pronounced righteous, by trusting in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and in the Holy Spirit of our God.    AMP


·          Hebrews 12:16-17 That no one may become guilty of sexual vice (pórnos), or become a profane, godless and sacrilegious person as Esau did, who sold his own birthright for a single meal. 17 For you understand that later on, when he wanted to regain title to his inheritance of the blessing, he was rejected, disqualified and set aside, for he could find no opportunity to repair by repentance; what he had done, no chance to recall the choice he had made, although he sought for it carefully with bitter tears.    AMP


·          Hebrews 13:4 Let marriage be held in honor, esteemed worthy, precious, of great price, and especially dear in all things.  And thus let the marriage bed be undefiled; kept undishonored; for God will judge and punish the unchaste, all guilty of sexual vice (Pornous) and adulterous.  AMP


·          Ephesians 5:3-16 But immorality, sexual vice (Porneía) and all impurity of lustful, rich, wasteful living or greediness must not even be named among you, as is fitting and proper among God's consecrated people.  4 Let there be no filthiness, obscenity, indecency nor foolish and sinful, silly and corrupt talk, nor coarse jesting, which are not fitting or becoming; but instead voice your thankfulness to God.  5 For be sure of this: that no person practicing sexual vice (pórnos) or impurity in thought or in life, or one who is covetous, who has lustful desire for the property of others and is greedy for gain--for he in effect is an idolater--has any inheritance in the kingdom of Christ and of God.  6 Let no one delude and deceive you with empty excuses and groundless arguments for these sins; for through these things the wrath of God comes upon the sons of rebellion and disobedience.  7 So do not associate or be sharers with them.  8 For once you were darkness, but now you are light in the Lord; walk as children of Light; lead the lives of those native-born to the Light.  9 For the fruit (the effect, the product of the Light or the Spirit consists in every form of kindly goodness, uprightness of heart, and trueness of life.  10 And try to learn in your experience what is pleasing to the Lord let your lives be constant proofs of what is most acceptable to Him.  11 Take no part in and have no fellowship with the fruitless deeds and enterprises of darkness, but instead let your lives be so in contrast as to expose and reprove and convict them.  12 For it is a shame even to speak of or mention the things that such people practice in secret.  13 But when anything is exposed and reproved by the light, it is made visible and clear; and where everything is visible and clear there is light. 14 Therefore He says, “Awake, O sleeper, and arise from the dead, and Christ shall shine & make day dawn upon you and give you light.” 15 Look carefully then how you walk! Live purposefully and worthily and accurately, not as the unwise and witless, but as wise, sensible, intelligent people, 16 making the very most of the time, buying up each opportunity, because the days are evil.     AMP


In Ephesians 5:11 the words translated as “expose and reprove and convict them,” originate from a Greek compound word eléngchete (NT: 1651), which in Classical Greek means literally, “To shame, disgrace.”  In the NT however, eléngchete means, “to convict by proving one in the wrong and thus to shame him.”  This explains why the tenor of this article is so graphic and straight to the point.  The text of Ephesians 5:3-16 is especially valuable in the discussion that exposes porn for what it truly is, and screams to Christian men ensnared by it to, “WAKE UP YOU SLEEPER!!”  Shake yourself from this stupor of filth and Christ will shine his light upon your path again and lead you to the Father in forgiveness, mercy, and cleansing from the filth of the flesh and spirit.


Lastly, note in Ephesians 5:13 the words, “For it is a shame even to speak of or mention the things that such people practice in secret.”  The fact that porn is mentioned in the same text that exposes a sin practiced in “secret” should be enough to get your attention and seek help at the throne of grace before it’s too late.  God loves you and he wants to secure your devotion to Him alone.  No matter how many times you have failed in the past, you must come to Him humbly thru the atonement offered thru the blood of Jesus.


For further help or if you need someone to share with, please email me at: craig@bibleanswerstand.org


God bless your faith and repentance in Jesus’ name!


Links to the Entire "A Little Chat with Husbands” Series:

Part 1

Part 2: My Husband is Always Angry at Me

Part 3: Pornography

Part 4: PMS and the Christian Husband’s Response

Part Five: Wives’ Survey


Return to BAS Homepage   ·   Craig's Bible Studies   ·   E-mail Craig   ·   Write Us   ·   Writings & Links to BAS Friends   ·   Q & A   ·   Return to Top of This Page